Encouraging a loved one with memory loss to see a doctor is a delicate and often challenging task. When faced with cognitive decline, many individuals may feel hesitant or even resistant to seek professional help.

This reluctance can stem from a variety of factors, including fear, denial, stigma, and concerns about losing independence. Here are some practical strategies to compassionately and effectively support your loved one in taking the crucial step of seeking medical attention while addressing their concerns and fears along the way.

First, Identify the Reason They Would Not Want to See the Doctor

According to a 2021 Rapid Report by the Mental Health Million Project, 45% of people with a mental health-related problem will not seek help. Of those respondents, only 25% feared the stigma a diagnosis would cause. Other reasons could include

• Fear of what a diagnosis would mean for them and their loved ones, especially if it reveals an onset of dementia or Alzheimer’s.
• Past negative experiences with doctors or watching one of their own loved ones struggle with similar issues.
• Not knowing how or where to ask for help.
• Cost and accessibility to proper treatment and support.
• Cultural or religious beliefs against seeking health care.
• A belief nothing could be changed or prevented even if the cause of memory loss is found.

Understanding your loved one’s reasons for resisting a doctor’s visit about memory loss enables you to address their concerns empathetically and effectively.

Tips to Encourage a Loved One with Memory Loss to See a Doctor

• Ask Before It Becomes an Issue. If the situation allows, start the conversation beforehand with a question like, “I don’t think it will be an issue for some time, but if I notice possible signs of memory loss later down the line, how would you prefer me to bring up a doctor’s visit to check it out?” This will give you early insights into how they prefer to address it and any resistances they have on the subject.
• Choose the Right Time and Place. Find a quiet, comfortable setting where you can have a conversation without distractions. Choose a time when your loved one is most relaxed and receptive.
• Be Empathetic and Compassionate. Acknowledge their feelings and fears. Express your concern about their memory loss and let them know that you care about their well-being. Also be mindful of things you should never say to someone struggling with their memory like, “Do you remember…?” or “You’re wrong!”.
• Use “I” statements. “You” statements immediately put someone on the defensive. Focus on your own feelings and observations, rather than making accusations.
  For example, say “I’ve noticed you’ve been having trouble remembering things lately, and it worries me,” rather than “You’re always forgetting things.”
• Provide Examples and Emphasize Benefits. Gently remind them of specific instances when their memory loss has affected their daily life. This can help illustrate the issue and reinforce your concern. Explain that seeing a doctor could help identify potential causes of their memory loss and lead to treatments that might improve their quality of life.
• Suggest a General Checkup. If your loved one is resistant to seeing a doctor specifically for memory issues, encourage them to schedule a general check-up.
  This can provide an opportunity for the doctor to address memory concerns during the visit. They could also detect if the memory loss is related to things like poor sleep quality, a vitamin deficiency, or a side effect of a new medication.
• Involve Other Family Members or Friends: Having multiple people express their concerns can help emphasize the importance of seeking medical help. Make sure not to overwhelm them at once, or they will feel defensive.
• Be Patient and Persistent. Your loved one may be resistant at first, but don’t give up. Continue to express your concern and offer support. If they continue to resist, consider involving a trusted healthcare professional or counselor to help mediate the conversation.

Remember that every individual is unique, and what works for one person may not work for another. Be prepared to adapt your approach based on your loved one’s needs and reactions.

The Master Caregiver Company Can Help You When a Loved One Experiences Memory Loss

We offer a range of services from “No box” care to referrals to vetted physicians and counselors that can help you talk to your loved one about their memory loss. Contact us today to schedule a free consultation.